“Bent” Humor

Anthology of Short Stories – Hollywood Beach (and Other Nefarious Locations)

The Anthology is both a stretch from reality and a blur through childhood memories.

In Somethin’, Somethin’ Diner… an executive from a southern California “dot.com” enterprise stops at a roadside diner for a respite from his gastrointestinal growling while driving in central Indiana. He encounters a small town atmosphere replete with a partially-toothed waitress who can’t spell her name (most likely) and is starry-eyed just at the sound of “California.” She serves up the house speciality to the suave gentleman who fights his way through the piece of meat, only to get a stomach-turning surprise.

Dialogue with a Seagull picks up where Jonathan Livingston Seagull leaves off and is based on a nephew of the now-famous bird of beach fame. The daily routine of the in-elegant bird serves as a backdrop for his bird-brained philosophy. In the case of Diamond in the Rough, a hapless widow whose husband had left her a fortune but whose body reflected the ravages of years on the beach in the sun challenges a young nephew to marriage and riches if he’ll just…

In Troll Under the Bridge, we learn about beachlife reality, but through the eyes and antics of the seldom-seen troll who rules life on his terms. An octogenarian who lives in a completely unique, eclectic house that attracts lookyloos and nosey neighbors has a sordid past which ties Ellie to the Japanese submarine shelling of beachfront property during World War II (wherein lays fact and what is fiction – a challenge to determine).

In Tortillas to Matzah Balls, the author’s accountant spells out in dialogue his philosophy on how to cope with the influx of illegals that seems to unhinge the current White House dominator.

Small Town… Smaller People relates, more or less, from a position of reality to a time he would spend during visits on the front porch of his mother-in-law’s stately home in smalltown, Indiana. The characters are from Oz or wherever, but reflect a realistic cut through small town society.

In a much different turn from reality is a slice of “oh my God, what has happened” as You Know You’re Getting Fat looks at existing and likely consequence of aging and the absence of time spent in Gold’s Gym.

At some point everyone has one of those daunting moments where a schizophrenic spin unseats the reality that our tedium endures and races out of control. So is the case in One Last Sleepless Night where our character cannot tell if he is actually dead or alive.

Gargoyles attempts to frame that awkward circumstance when high school classmates come together at a class reunion 25 or 50 years after the high point of the lives of many of the participants. The term “Gargoyles” is used to depict the sentiment attached to seeing how many of “yesterdays” classmates remain in yesterday – they’ve updated their wardrobe but not their exposure to the world around them.

When a young teen, with the looks of a Hollywood starlet, the body of a porn actress is confronted with the deception of a “big night” with the Congressman from her district, the Boinker turns the tables on the would be stud who uses his position to try to put the young lady into one as well. The beach area is crowded with those whose lot in life has left them homeless and in tatters.

The Ogre on the Pier is one such individual… or is he? Is he actually there in conversation with a young boy on the pier or is the growing presence of homeless people in the area making area residents paranoid and look with dubious concern at anyone who doesn’t match their expectations and comfort zone?

Walt Pizzotts is / was a real person… kind of, anyway. Everything that went wrong at his high school seemed to magically be hung around his neck like the Salem witchcraft trials or the need to find the “anti-Christ” during the Inquisition. Poor Walt seems to be easily blameable, but then the moniker of guilt doesn’t seem to bother him so much as he wears a constant smile suggesting some sort of inner knowledge at the turmoil that shrouds his presence.

The Stranger is one step away from the armageddon that the White House and a hawkish Congress seem hellbent upon engaging. The White House seems willing to engage at the cost of countless soldiers’ lives, including The Stranger. The thinly-veiled fear of cataclysm the White House uses to promote war envelopes a nation of sheep busy with soccer practices, work, and TV while corporate America will prosper lavishly from the personal gains that a wartime economy engenders. This charade must be stopped and The Stranger casts the first thunderbolt.

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Stickman Cometh

… a collection of drawings from an individual who can’t draw a straight line but manages to characterize many of life’s situational moments that we see daily or from the back of our mind when our eyes are closed. The collection expanded to dozens and then the decision was made to tie the pictures to a calendar – use the book as you will… a handy calendar, a book of humor for bathroom reading, or for the paper if the “TP” runs out at an unfortunate time.

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